When you are going through a divorce, the last thing you probably want to do is sit and consider ways that you can make life easier for your soon-to-be ex. However, showing your appreciation to your former partner can set the tone for ongoing interactions between the two of you, and a small gesture can have a big impact on how things go forward in the divorce.
If in doubt, talk to your divorce attorney about the unique situation you're facing. In general, you can't go wrong by being kind as long as you don't give away your own power. Here are three undeniable reasons why you should show your appreciation for your future ex-spouse even when you are in the middle of a complicated divorce.
Reason #1: You Need to Set an Example of Grace Under Pressure
Whether you realize it or not, your kids are watching all the time. Although they may not be eager to talk about their feelings while knee deep in adjusting to the divorce, your children probably are experience a dynamic range of emotions, and negative ones can be heightened when they're exposed to ongoing conflict between parents. When you show your appreciation to your former partner, you are taking the high road and showing your kids how they can handle conflict with maturity and positivity.
Reason #2: Taking the High Road Can Elevate the Whole Family
Although it can be very tempting to ignore the good things that your former partner does during the divorce, that will only discourage their positive actions. If you instead express your appreciation for the effort that your ex is making and the ways they are trying to make life easier on you, you encourage them to continue being kind and maybe even doing more to please you. It feels good to be appreciated. Keep that in mind when deciding how to handle situations with your former partner during the divorce.
Reason #3: If You Have Kids, You're Stuck With Each Other for Life
In some ways, you are always going to be in the life of your soon-to-be ex if you share children together, and you'll make life easier on both of you if you play nice when possible. That doesn't mean that you have to compromise on what you deserve in the divorce settlement or bite your tongue when you disagree on a parenting choice. However, when you can genuinely say thanks and mean it, do so. Extend the olive branch and treat your former partner how you hope they treat you.
Finally, keep in mind that "conscious uncoupling" is more than just a Hollywood buzz word. Any divorce lawyer will tell you that it's typically better on everyone if you can be friendly. The more appreciate you can be, the more you encourage positive actions between both of you.
Being considerate of each other's wants, needs, and feelings throughout the divorce is the best way to proceed. Not only will it teach your kids a lot about caring for another person even when there is intense conflict, but you can help establish a positive post-divorce relationship that can help you more effectively co-parent your children. Many exes become friends, and that foundation can start in some ways by how you show your appreciation during the divorce. For more information, contact a business such as The VK Law Firm.